12/18 for Simon

[sidestepdestiny]

[cont. from here]

Snow carries me home bundled up in his jumper, and I've decided to postpone being embarrassed about all of this until later because he's just so warm. He's like a human furnace, and the entire trip back I'm mostly asleep, gently purring. I only stop when we return and he sets me down on my bed and goes to his bedroom. My bed is cold, and now I'm alone and a cat. I meow in his direction, a low howl of discontent.

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[worst_greatest_one]

I'm pulling my shirt over my head when I hear him yowling, and I laugh, poking my head into his side of our joined bedrooms. "Careful, you might attract an alley cat," I tell him, tugging a softer pajama shirt on as I approach his bed.

"What's the trouble?"

[sidestepdestiny]

I'm a cat, for one thing, I say, and my tail twitches at the now familiar meows that leave my mouth. It's that realization that spurs me on, and I continue to voice my complaints since I'm the only one who can understand them.

Not to mention I'm stuck in this ridiculous city, Bunce is probably at the top of our class now, I'm a vampire, and I'm in love with you.

[worst_greatest_one]

"Sounds quite dire," I say after he meows at length, each new yowl more plaintive than the last. I kneel down at the foot of his bed and reach a hand out. Solitary though cats might be, I know they like to sleep in piles. "C'mon, you pitiful creature. You can bunk up with me until you're better."

[sidestepdestiny]

You do know it's me, right? I ask, tail lashing. But I allow him to pick me up and carry me over to his bedroom. I step daintily on his bedspread and watch him get ready. I can't believe I'm finally going to get Snow in bed, and it's like this.

[worst_greatest_one]

I hesitate at my wardrobe. Baz never undresses in front of me, so I've always felt strange undressing in front of him. I grab my pajama pants and take them to the bathroom, changing quickly and brushing my teeth. I wash my face and wander back into my bedroom, flopping down on my bed with a sigh.

"Oops," I murmur, knowing the flop must have shaken the bed. "Sorry, old boy."

[sidestepdestiny]

Old boy? I say indignantly, tail fluffing up. I start kneading the blankets on Snow's bed next to him to make them more comfortable. I don't really know what this is about, but the cat part of me seems to insist, so I go with it.

[worst_greatest_one]

"There you go," I chuckle, turning onto my side to watch him. I stroke my fingers down Baz's back, then up the other way to ruffle his fur. With the curls in it, he must have an awful time getting at his undercoat.

"Make your biscuits."

[sidestepdestiny]

I have no idea what you're talking about, I mumble, lulled into a sleepy, dazed state from the petting. My eyes close most of the way and I settle in, pressed against his chest, purring lightly.

[worst_greatest_one]

"C'mere," I murmur, pulling at him so that his body fits in against the curve of my side. I used to wish I had something to sleep with at the care homes. A dog, a cat, a stuffed toy of any kind. Even an extra pillow to hold.

I don't care that it's Baz purring against me now. I just enjoy it. "We'll sort it in the morning," I say sleepily, stroking behind his ears.

[sidestepdestiny]

I let out an indignant meow when Snow dares to move me, but I quiet when he continues to stroke me. At this point I'm not thinking about anything anymore. It's all warmth and affection I'm entirely unused to. I keep purring and stretch my front paws out, curling against him. Slowly, without even realizing it, I fall asleep.

[worst_greatest_one]

I don't remember falling asleep, but I suppose no one does. One moment I'm stroking behind Baz's ears, and the next, it's completely dark in the room and the mattress is far more dipped than before. I open my eyes, and gradually they focus on Baz next to me in the bed. Proper Baz, not cat Baz.

He'd be outraged if he were awake, sharing a bed with me. Maybe that's why I smile, I don't really know. I definitely don't know why I reach out and stroke my fingers through his dark hair. It's tumbled down across his cheek, and I push it back, the strands silky against my fingers.

[sidestepdestiny]

I'm having a dream where I'm a cat. Snow is petting me, but he's touching me too gently, so I turn my face, push my head toward him for more with a tiny mew. The dream dissolves and slowly I become aware of my surroundings through a sleepy haze; the fact that I'm not small anymore, that I'm in Snow's bed. I can feel his fingers in my hair, I can feel our bodies touching, knees and feet. I open my eyes, blink a few times.

"The fuck?" I say, and my voice comes out like my voice. Thick and sleepy sounding, but not a meow.

[worst_greatest_one]

Baz's eyes open and focus, and I pull my hand back as if burned, but it's too late. His voice is sharp in the darkness, cutting the way it's been a thousand times before, and for a moment I tense and wait for the hex.

"You were a cat," I stammer, my heart pounding as I come fully awake. "I didn't do it."

[sidestepdestiny]

"I know I was a cat." My eyes feel heavy and I rub at one, trying to wake up. "Did I just change back?" I ask, and feel a flush of embarrassment, remembering how I curled up next to Snow, and...Crowley, did he not know I was myself? I hope he didn't think I was myself, I hope he thought that I couldn't think, that I was just a cat.

For a split second I panic, until I realize I'm clothed as I was at the party. Thank snakes for small favors.

[worst_greatest_one]

"I don't know," I admit, and I'd give him some distance, but I can feel the edge of the bed at my back, and it feels strangely formal, standing up. "I woke up and you were you again."

He was really sweet, I remember, making biscuits. It'd be so much easier between us if he was sweet like that all the time.

[sidestepdestiny]

I could have sworn Snow was still petting me when I woke up, but whatever. This is embarrassing no matter which way you look at it. I groan and try to shake off the last vestiges of sleep, sitting up in bed.

Snow's bed.

Crowley

"I'm going to murder Magnus," I growl, but the effect is ruined when a yawn pushes its way out of my throat.

[worst_greatest_one]

Baz yawns, and the panic in me softens. Quite a lot of me softens, in fact, and I have to resist the urge to tuck my blankets in around him.

"You've had an ordeal," I say. "You should sleep." I should get up and go sleep in his bed, but the offer never makes its way out of my mouth.

[sidestepdestiny]

My head dips, forehead resting on my knees, and I huff out a silent laugh at Snow calling being turned into a cat an ordeal, like I've just come back from war or something.

"I just was asleep," I say around another yawn, raising my head back up, and fuck, I'm so knackered. I glance at the window, realizing how dark it is. It must not even be properly morning yet. Maybe I will go back to sleep.

"'ma go to my own bed now. Sorry about all this." My shoes are still on, and I slowly kick them off, letting them fall to the side of Snow's bed. I need to go to my own bedroom, but it seems like a hundred miles away and my limbs feel like jelly.

[worst_greatest_one]

"Baz," I start in a soft voice, but he's only sitting there, his eyelids and his shoulders drooping. I don't think he'd make it the few feet over to his bed, and I have no desire to make him.

"Hush a bye," I murmur, threading magic into my voice. I'm tired, too, and there's no reason we can't lie here a few hours longer. "Sleep, Baz."

[sidestepdestiny]

Snow's spell hits me like a brick. "The fuck," I say, sleepily. I'm suddenly so tired I can't keep my eyes open. My body's too heavy to get out of bed, so I lay back, curling up in the warmth of Snow's bed. I don't even think about it, I just have to. It's like falling into quicksand.

"'m not your cat, Snow," I say, mouth curling into a smile just before I fall back asleep.

[worst_greatest_one]

"I know," I reply, settling down as he does. I curl my arm beneath the pillow and watch him for a moment more. He looks completely different in slumber, and it feels wrong, a bit, touching him after I've spelled him asleep, but I can't help a last drag on my fingers through his hair.

Merlin knows, I'll probably never get to again.

[sidestepdestiny]

I'm not sure how long I sleep, but when I finally wake up for a second time I can feel sunlight coming in through a gap in the curtains. I groan and pull the blanket over my face, and when I shift my knee lightly bumps into-- oh.

I'm still in Snow's bed.

Snow's sleeping all curled in on himself next to me, lips parted (mouth breather), eyebrows furrowed like he's worried about something even in sleep. I want to reach forward and smooth away the wrinkles in his forehead, but I don't.

Instead, I selfishly, maybe creepily, peek out from the blanket and let myself look for a minute. Now that we aren't at Watford and there's that half wall between us, I don't have those stolen moments anymore. I let myself now. He did put me back to sleep right in his bed.