Christmas, for Simon

[sidestepdestiny]

I wake up early on Christmas morning. I can hear Snow gently snoring across the half wall, and I slip quietly out of bed to hunt my breakfast. I make quick work of it, going in the area of forest with strange weather where the trees whisper, that practically delivers the animals to me when I ask.

On my way back, Snow was right, of course, everything is closed. Including the florist. I don't let it stop me, though, unlocking the door with a spell. (This is why mages use wards.) I consider a full bouquet, but it's probably a bit much, so I take a single flower from a few that are already made, and leave a couple dollars on the counter.

When I return, Snow is still sleeping, which is just fine. He wants to go to dinner tomorrow, but I don't like waiting, so I prepare a large breakfast in his kitchen that will hopefully satisfy his appetite. Fried eggs and fried mushrooms, black beans and black pudding. Scones and tea. Eggnog because it's Christmas. I make it as Watford a breakfast as I can remember, and set his tiny kitchen table up for two. When the food is all but done I open his bedroom door and lean inside.

"Happy Christmas," I say, "unless you'd like to sleep through it."

Comments

[worst_greatest_one]

I'm halfway to waking from the rumbling of my stomach alone, but when Baz pokes his head in my bedroom, I sit upright. "Happy Christmas," I answer by rote, but I rub my eyes, and in another moment I've thrown the blankets from me as if they've caused offense and hurry to the door.

"Did you make food?" I ask, my eyes widening when I see it on the table and the counter. "Bloody hell, you made a lot of food." I grip Baz's sleeve as if it might somehow all disappear if I stop looking at it. "Are those scones?"

[sidestepdestiny]

He surprises me at first, how quickly he moves when food's involved. I've never seen anyone get out of bed so fast. And then I smile, because I can't help being pleased with myself for the idea.

"Of course. And I got you some flowers," I say, proudly. It seems like the boyfriend thing to do. If we're boyfriends. We haven't kissed, but he likes me and we held hands. It got off to a rough start, so I'm hoping the flowers help. He seemed to like them back at Kagura, having went so far as to take mine home. "I know it has nothing to do with Christmas, but-- here." I hold them out to him.

[worst_greatest_one]

He's gotten me flowers. He's giving them to me, and, dumbstruck, I reach out a hand and take them. No one's ever given me flowers, and I never got any for Agatha or for Bitty. I was probably meant to. It doesn't surprise me that Baz is fantastic at dating.

"Thank you," I say, a little awed. I clutch them to me, for a moment watching him instead of the food. "I can't believe you've done all this. It's amazing, Baz."

[sidestepdestiny]

I'm even more pleased that he likes the flowers, and I have to fight to keep from smiling like a lunatic. I don't say that it's an apology for fifth year, or for any of it, because I'm not good at apologies and it's not exactly adequate. I only hope that maybe I can do enough things to start making up for sending chimeras after him.

"It's just breakfast, Snow," I say, brushing it off, because as much as I like his reaction it also embarrasses me. "Now come, sit, before I have to spell everything warm again." I pull out his chair for him, like a proper gentleman.

[worst_greatest_one]

He pulls out his chair but doesn't sit, and it takes me an age to realise it's meant for me. "Oh!" I say, and hurry to sit in it, gazing up at him in a bit of wonder. "Thanks."

But not even Baz can keep my attention with all this food in front of me, and I start piling my plate, already preparing to eat it with my hands should that prove the fastest route when I remember to be polite. I ought to at least let him make his own plate. "You've done black pudding," I marvel. "I didn't know you cooked."

[sidestepdestiny]

"You're welcome," I say, after I've helped push his chair in. I take my own seat across from him, spreading my napkin on my lap and calmly taking a few things for my plate. I'm still not sure how I feel eating in front of him, but I'm not that hungry anyway after my early meal of blood, and I tried some of the food while I was making it.

"I don't," I admit with a tiny, sheepish smile. "I thought I'd try, so I looked up some recipes. If it's terrible, I think there's a coffee shop down the street that's open this morning."

[worst_greatest_one]

"It smells proper already," I assure him, sticking my fork into one to shove whole into my mouth. I chew, and it's only because it's blood sausage that I swallow before grinning at him. "Perfect."

I reach for my tea and gulp it down, lifting my chin to look at his plate. "You've never eaten in front of me," I say. "Are you going to now?"

[sidestepdestiny]

I watch him across the table, anticipatory, and smile when he says he likes the sausage. It's a relief. I watched so many Youtube videos to help me cook and I was so careful not to burn his apartment down. Or set myself on fire. That would have been a Christmas bummer.

"I suppose I am," I say, shifting uncomfortably in my seat. "You don't have to look, you know." I take the napkin from my lap to hold it in front of my mouth, and discretely eat a piece of sausage.

[worst_greatest_one]

I stare at him, mostly because he's got a napkin in front of his face. "Do you want me not to look?" I ask, even though it already seems like he'd rather hold a piece of cloth over his mouth for an entire meal. That seems awfully uncomfortable.

"I can just not, if you want," I offer. "But I won't care if I see your fangs. I know they're there, it's not as if it'll surprise me."

[sidestepdestiny]

I sigh, not knowing what to do. I never let anyone watch me eat, it's awkward and it's certainly not attractive. But I don't know which is worse, making Snow feel like I don't trust him by not eating regularly in front of him, or looking like an idiot when I do.

I slowly move the napkin away. "I know they won't. It's just not...polite."

[worst_greatest_one]

"It's just eating, Baz," I say. I know he likes to be proper, but there's nothing impolite about having fangs. He just...has them. He always will. And he can't always eat with a napkin in front of me.

"Just, do as you like," I finally say. "I'm not bothered." To prove it, I spear another blood sausage into my mouth, following it up with half a scone.

[sidestepdestiny]

I make a face at how Snow manages to fit so much food in his mouth at once. He has a point, he cares nothing for table manners. He probably won't even notice anything is amiss. Refraining from rolling my eyes, I eat more of the sausage. Smaller bites than him.

"Happy?"

[worst_greatest_one]

I grin at him around my scone. I am happy. I'm excited, even - Baz is eating in front of me, for the first time in eight years. I finish my scone, wishing I could put a bit of the sour cherry jam Bitty made for me, but I think that might be strange.

I scoop a fried egg and mushrooms up with another scone and swallow it down. "What've you made?" I ask him, nodding towards the pitcher. "Is it milk? It's yellow!"

[sidestepdestiny]

It took a long time to put this breakfast together, even with the aid of my magic, but I'm starting to realize it's worth it for the way Snow's smiling.

"Oh, I didn't make it, I bought it. It's just eggnog. Would you like some?" I ask, raising the pitcher to pour him a glass.

[worst_greatest_one]

"Sure," I say, and I'd say yes to just about anything right now. There's as much breakfast here as there was at Watford, and my heart aches, missing home but I'm so full of this moment, I almost have to rub at my chest.

"I got you something, you know," I say as he pours. "For Christmas."

[sidestepdestiny]

I glance up from where I'm pouring with a surprised smile. "You did?" I ask, setting the pitcher back down. I can't stand eggnog, myself, but it seemed fitting for Christmas, and I'm not sure there's anything edible Snow doesn't like.

"I got you something, too. We could exchange when we're done eating," I suggest, already starting to worry about whether he'll like it or not.

[worst_greatest_one]

"Really?" I beam at him over the table and dig back into my plate. I don't think it takes me very long to eat everything he's provided - at least, I don't really remember doing it, but after a bit I blink and realise there's nothing left.

That must mean it's time for gifts! "Just a moment," I say, drinking the last of the eggnog before I run to my room and fish a package from beneath the bed. I had the woman at the store wrap it for me, so it looks quite nice.

"Do you want to open them on the couch?"

[sidestepdestiny]

I've eaten a mere fraction of what Snow has, and yet I finish up at about the same time as him. I watch him leave the room and bring the dishes into the sink. I cast a quick cleaning spell just before he returns.

"Sure, let me just go get yours," I say with a smile, and disappear through his bedroom door and into my own room. I grab the box from my dresser and return, sitting down on the couch next to him.

"Let's take turns. Do you want to go first?"

[worst_greatest_one]

I do, but I also want Baz to open his present, and I don't want to miss his reaction so we can't go at the same time. "Alright," I say, feeling a little tortured, and tear into my present. There's a box beneath, a wide flat one, and I cock my head and pull away the top.

"Is it clothes?" I ask, pressing careful fingertips down onto the gray fabric. It's thick, and I lift surprised eyes to Baz. "This is really nice, Baz!"

[sidestepdestiny]

I wanted to get something really nice for Snow, and I'd thought back to all the times I'd watched him labor over choosing his outfit for the day. It had always seemed a little ludicrous to me, because he wore his school uniform, same as everyone else.

I wanted him to have something he could feel good in, but I'd second guessed whether or not a suit was too much.

"It's a suit. I thought-- you know, maybe we could go to a nice dinner," I say, almost nervously.

[worst_greatest_one]

"I've never owned a suit," I say, drawing it from the box. It just keeps coming, a whole jacket and thick, fine looking pants, and I can't stop marveling at it. There's a picture I used to love of myself, standing with Agatha in a fine suit. It was Dr. Wellbelove's. I never thought I'd have one of my own, but I always wanted one.

"I think they might chuck me out of a nice dinner," I say with a small smile. I can't stop stroking my fingers over the lapels. "But I'd love to try it anyway."

[sidestepdestiny]

"They won't," I say quickly and defensively. I don't know why he'd say that, unless he means his penchant for eating like he's stepped out of a medieval tavern. If anyone says anything I'll just be sure to flash my fangs.

"You'll look good in it. You always looked good in your Watford uniform," I add, blushing faintly.

[worst_greatest_one]

His pale cheeks go pink, and I'm fairly certain mine are on fire. "Did I?" I ask, but I'm pleased, because I thought so, too. At least, I looked far better in Watford's uniforms than I ever did in the care homes. "So did you," I admit. "It used to make me furious, how handsome you are."

I nod towards my gift and hand it over. "Mine's not nearly as nice," I warn him. "I'm not sure I'd know how to buy clothes for you." Instead, inside is a nice scarf, unbelievably soft but thick, too, in a dark green paisley pattern. Beneath it is a snow globe with a unicorn inside it. I burst three of them before I managed to enchant the snow to fall continuously, but this one is perfect.

[sidestepdestiny]

Snow says he thinks I'm handsome, even used to think I'm handsome, and it leaves me speechless a moment, smiling stupidly to myself.

"You did. You're criminally good-looking either way, but, you look especially sharp in the uniform," I tell him, my smile going almost demure, a little self-conscious at being so open with the things I've been keeping secret for years.

I carefully open the gift, petting the soft fabric of the scarf a moment. It's just the kind I'd choose for myself, and I smile up at him. "It's perfect, thank you," I say, wrapping it around my neck.

I look the snow globe over next, thinking he's gotten it so I'll think of him because of his name, but I laugh when I see the unicorn inside. "What is this? You want a reminder of being stabbed in the side?"

[worst_greatest_one]

I watch his long fingers brush against the scarf, and I've never loved a purchase more.

I revise that when he wraps it around his equally long throat. "It looks really good," I say softly, grinning when he lifts the snow globe. "Flesh wound," I say. "And, it commemorates the first time I saw your fangs, and you were really nice to me that night."

I touch his scarf, arranging it just so around his neck, and my fingers linger at his nape after. "It was an important night."