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[sidestepdestiny]

It's been days with no sign from Simon. I've looked all over for where he could possibly be locked away. I've tried finding spells and even asking random strangers if they've seen someone fitting his description. I've heard stories, now, about others going missing, and all of them seem to have one thing in common; they all have some form of magic. I've never met anyone more powerful than Simon, and the idea that someone could have taken him, could have locked him up, without any sign of him going off is honestly scary. Not for me, but for him.

Magnus, Kavinsky, Luke, Derek's boyfriend. Others whose names I don't recognize.

I feel like I'm going mad, and every minute spent idle in our apartment only makes it worse. I can't sleep, I've been living off blood alone because it's the only thing I've had an appetite for. I realize I don't want to be alone, so I text Alec, asking if he's at Magnus'. He says yes, so I pack up Puff and what blood I have left from Kavinsky, and go over to High Gate Terrace.

Comments

[deflectere]

It was hard to stay inside when he knew Magnus was out there, having Angel knew what done to him. He didn't want to be inside, helpless and powerless. He wanted to be somewhere, doing something and killing someone.

He wanted this to be over.

Baz's text was a distraction from his attempts at fixing the indentation he'd put in Magnus' wall when he and Baz had nearly come to blows. He'd tried to cover it and then tried to fix it and now he'd settled on just calling someone to fix it.

The door was cracked when Baz arrived and Alec was sitting on the sofa, Olivia curled up on his lap. Henry was on the cushion's arm, looking at the proceedings judgmentally.

[sidestepdestiny]

"...Did you leave your door open for me, or did you just forget to close it?" I ask, peeking in. It's an honest question. Alec looks as strung out as me, he probably isn't sleeping well.

I come in and close the door behind me, joining Alec on the sofa without bothering to ask, setting Puff's carrier next to me. She howls piteously from inside. With a sigh, I open it, scooping her out and depositing her next to Alec, since he seems to like the damn things.

[deflectere]

"I left it open for you," Alec answered, glancing over at Baz as he strolled in. His eyes focused in on the carrier and he watched as Olivia seemed to scent another cat and tried to crawl out of his arms and onto his thigh to peer closer.

When Baz took the cat out of the carrier, Olivia inched closer and started to smell her. Alec rubbed his face and sighed.

"When did you get a cat?"

[sidestepdestiny]

Puff eyes the other kitten dubiously, ears back and fur a little fluffed out (even more than usual), but she doesn't hiss. She just sits very, very still.

"Valentine's Day," I say gravely, though I'm not entirely keen on admitting the particulars that drove me to buy said cat. Alec mentioned the chocolate making Magnus sick, but I've yet to bring up the disaster my Valentine's Day had turned into. "She was a present for Simon, because he was so delighted when Magnus turned me into a cat I thought he might like to have a real one. Now I'm left to take care of the damn thing, and all she looks like to me is a snack."

I know I'm not really angry about being in charge of Puff, that what I'm really angry about is my inability so far to get Simon back, but I can't keep the cruelty from my voice either way.

[deflectere]

The mention of Magnus does not make him twitch. It doesn't. His jaw tightened the smallest bit but he otherwise remained unmoved. It was not easy but he didn't want to fall apart.

Olivia inched closer to the new cat, giving a few tentative sniffs at Puff's fur before judging her safe and tumbling off of Alec's leg and closer to the new cat.

Henry remained impassive.

"You let Olivia sleep on you and you controlled yourself, Baz," Alec reminded him. "She doesn't look like that to you. You want anything to drink? There's...a lot of alcohol."

[sidestepdestiny]

I sigh, because of course Alec is right. It actually hasn't been bad, living with an animal. Anyway, she'd give me a damn hairball if I tried to take a bite out of her.

Puff sniffs the air, watching Olivia with trepidation, her ears still back. She lets out a tiny howl and wraps her fluffy tail around her paws.

"Yes. I'll take whatever's strongest. Oh, I brought along an actual snack. Can I keep these in your fridge?" I ask, holding up the bag I brought with me. There are a couple packets of blood inside, and I pluck one out to mix with my drink before handing it over.

[deflectere]

"Trusting me to make you a drink is brave," Alec remarked, grabbing the bag and getting to his feet. Magnus tended to be the bartender, the guy who could snap his fingers and make just about any drink you could think of.

Alec knew enough to pour and mix but he wasn't sure how that was going to turn out. He left Baz alone with the cats while he went to stow the bag in the refrigerator.

He reappeared and found his way over to where Magnus kept all his alcohol. He didn't even know what was the strongest so he grabbed a few bottles and just started mixing, hoping for the best.

[sidestepdestiny]

When Alec returns with the drink, I thank him for it, but as soon as I bring it toward my mouth and get a whiff I know it's not right.

"What is this?" I ask, and take a tentative sip. I make a face. I have to hold myself back from spitting it out all over the couch, and force it down my throat. "Dear snakes, are you sure this isn't drain cleaner?"

[deflectere]

"I don't know what it is," Alec admitted, shrugging and dropping back on the sofa. He rubbed his face and watched as Olivia crawled back onto his thigh.

"I just mixed a bunch of things together," he admitted, glancing over. "Magnus makes the drinks and he's -- he's not here."

He'd nearly let his voice shake on those words but clamped down at the last minute. He'd still stuttered though and that made him angry.

"It's just a bunch of alcohol."

[sidestepdestiny]

"You just...?" I simply shake my head and sigh. I suppose it can't be helped, I'm as fraught with worry over Simon. Before I left our flat I nearly put my shoes on the wrong feet.

"You don't mix different alcohols," I say, dipping my face closer for another sniff. It smells like he's poured whiskey, vodka, and wine together. Honestly. "You mix them with things like soda or juice. Nevermind. I'll make a new one." I stand up, and look over at him. "Would you like one as well?"

[deflectere]

"Do I look like I know how to make a cocktail?" Alec asked, glaring. They didn't keep alcohol in the Institute that wasn't wine and whenever he was with Magnus, Magnus made the drinks because he knew how to do it.

Alec sometimes watched but not close enough to pick anything up.

"I don't want one," he said, rubbing a hand through his hair and exhaling roughly. "I'm sorry. I'll take a cocktail making class at the local university so I'm prepared next time Magnus needs to disappear."

[sidestepdestiny]

I don't react to Alec's anger and sarcasm like I did the first time I came here. If this is how he copes, let him. My version of coping, I guess, is trying to pretend nothing is happening, because if I stew in it too long I'm afraid I'm going to drown. It hasn't worked very well, yet, but maybe it will if I'm not alone.

"You could use one," I say dryly, and move over to the kitchen where Alec came from. I look from the whiskey to rum, and choose the latter, stirring the blood in and returning to the couch.

"So I was thinking," I say, gently moving the glass in a circular motion before taking a drink, "maybe we should set fire to the mayor's office since he isn't taking this seriously."

[deflectere]

That isn't what Alec expected Baz to say. He glanced over at Baz and tried to gauge if he was serious. With Baz, it was hard to tell because Baz, like Alec himself, didn't smile much. His face was flat, stoic almost all time save for certain situations.

Or around certain people.

"That might get us arrested," Alec pointed out. "I don't have time for mundane authorities right now."

[sidestepdestiny]

"Mm, I really don't think we'll get caught," I say, taking another drink. I look over at Alec, pointing a finger. "You have that invisibility rune, I have a spell that hides me."

I know he won't, either way. Alec isn't like that, he's honorable. I sigh, and look over at the kittens, oblivious of everything that's happening around them.

"Don't you just want to set something on fire?"

[deflectere]

"Yes," Alec admitted, letting the fingers of one hand curl into a fist. Olivia nuzzled against his chest, making sure his anger didn't spiral out of control but he could let some of it loose.

"I want to set everything on fire," he admitted lowly. "I want to find whoever did this and put an arrow in their head. I want to --"

He trailed off and shook his head. "I want this to be over."

[sidestepdestiny]

"Me too," I tell him, gently patting his head like I would with Puff or Saoirse. I'm not drunk, so I don't have an excuse to, but I do it anyway. I squeeze his shoulder a moment and then let go. It's as close to a hug as we'll probably get right now.

"I can't even think straight," I admit, swirling the liquid in my glass again, staring down at it. "Back home Simon was always getting into one thing or another. The Humdrum would send dark creatures after him, or worse, one time, at the end of our last school year, the Humdrum grabbed Simon and his friend. Took them somewhere like it was nothing. He survived, of course. He always does. I used to comfort myself in the fact that nothing could really hurt him. He seemed untouchable, the strongest mage of our time. There were fucking prophesies about him. But now? I don't think they extend to Darrow. He's mortal, just like anyone..."

I trail off, rambling myself into a dead end. I'm not even sure what I was getting at. I take another drink, a long one.

[deflectere]

If it had been almost anyone else, Alec would have shaken the touch off, glared, and moved away. But, Baz was different and Alec found that he needed the comfort something tangible could provide. He sighed and closed his eyes for a long moment.

"Yeah," Alec mumbled, opening his eyes and staring down at the pile of cats that separated Baz from him. He reached out and let Olivia bat at his fingers before he dropped his hand and she rubbed her face against it.

"What's the Humdrum?" Alec asked, glancing over. "I don't know if you've mentioned him or it before."

[sidestepdestiny]

Puff pads over to see what Olivia is doing, and unsteadily climbs up Alec's thigh and onto his lap, sniffing at his arm.

"He's a dark creature. We aren't sure, exactly. Simon told me he looks like him, but a child. And he's eating the magic in our world. He's more than a mage, he's a monster. Simon is philosophized to take him down. Lot of good it does here, of course," I add, but I'm not sour about it. I nurse my drink, trying to think of problems from home instead of the one I'm currently stuck in.

"I was glad, when I realized the Humdrum hadn't come with us. I guess it doesn't matter, trouble finds Simon wherever he goes."

[deflectere]

Alec stilled himself when Puff climbed onto his thigh, being careful not to jostle at all since he know had two cats using his leg as a pillow. He didn't understand what cats saw him in but between the Chairman, Olivia and now Puff, he had more cats climbing on him in the past few years than he'd ever thought possible.

"He sounds like a Greater Demon," Alec remarked quietly. He looked over at Baz. "There's several Greater Demons though and no prophecies about someone killing them."

Not that he'd read, at least.

"One of them almost killed me awhile back. Magnus was the one who made sure I didn't die. Demon poison. Runes don't do well with it."

[sidestepdestiny]

I sigh, absently watching Puff before returning my gaze to Alec. "He could be, for all I know. Demons exist in my world. I've never seen one, I don't know much about them. They're rarely seen, I think," I tell him. For a dark creature, I've had relatively few run-ins with other ones. Just a few beasts that have come after Simon, and it was my luck to have been with him at the time.

I raise an eyebrow. "When was this? Before-Darrow?"

[deflectere]

Alec nodded.

"It seems like a long time ago now all things considered," Alec remarked, rubbing his hand over his tired, burning eyes.

"We were trying to retrieve a Shadowhunter artifact, something very important, and Abbadon wanted the artifact for his own machinations, I guess. He nearly killed me. He would have killed me if Magnus hadn't shown up and healed me."

For a second, he was silent before he laughed humorlessly. "Our tutor betrayed us that day but he did have the presence of mind to call Magnus before turning his back. How nice of him, right?"

[sidestepdestiny]

The ghost of a smile crosses my face, picturing Magnus and Alec back home, probably circling each other. But I find that, in the midst of all this, I don't want to even imagine Alec so far gone that only Magnus could bring him back.

"What was it like with Magnus, back home? Did you like him right away?" I ask, trying to steer the conversation away from peril. I know Alec was closeted, but he hasn't told me much about how he and Magnus met.

[deflectere]

Alec shook his head. Letting those memories out right now were sure to cause an ache later but they were a comfort now. Alec wouldn't have described that time in his life as simple, only different.

He'd been different. Scared. Angry. Uncertain.

"I was...attracted but I thought I was in love with someone else," he said, lips pursing. He hadn't really thought about his crush on Jace in awhile too. The feelings had dissipated with distance and with his feelings for Magnus being as they were. "He flirted with me and I didn't really know how to deal with it so I didn't."

He'd glared and stuttered and tried to sneak subtle looks when he thought Magnus wasn't looking. "I didn't really believe he liked me. Not like that, at least."