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[sidestepdestiny]

Last year for Christmas I'd surprised Simon with a homemade breakfast and flowers. It isn't a fairly typical Christmas tradition, and nowadays I make breakfast at least every other morning anyway, but I've decided to continue it anyhow. A small vase of lilies sit in the middle of the table, and as I'm waiting for the sausage to finish cooking, an envelope in our mail holder catches my eye. It's to me from Darrow's bank, but I don't remember getting anything from them lately.

I turn off the stove and take it out, opening it up to make sure there isn't something wrong with my account. What a fucked Christmas surprise that would be.

But it's not that. Not at all.

My eyes grow bright as they read through it too fast, and then again, slower, in disbelief.

Comments

[worst_greatest_one]

You wouldn't think I could get cold, but ever since Baz and I started sharing a bed, I don't feel warm enough if he's not beside me. It wakes me up even before the smell of sausage does, and I push out of the sheets, dragging one of them around me so I can pad into the kitchen without getting dressed.

"Baz?" I ask when he's not by the stove. I turn off the heat and search until I find him near the door. "What are you doing?"

[sidestepdestiny]

I'm so shaken I nearly jump at the sound of Simon's voice. I'm so shaken I don't even notice at first that he's only in a sheet. I quickly bring a hand up to rub at my left eye with the heel of my hand, holding the letter out to him to see for himself in the other.

"It's from my Mother," I say, my breath hitching on the end of the word. I look at him like I'm lost, and in a way, that's exactly how I feel. "It's from her will, to me."

[worst_greatest_one]

I don't really give two fucks about the letter he's holding out when I see him wipe his eyes, but then he says it's from his mum and I stop cold. "What?" I say and take it. I try to read it and it's as if my thoughts get in the way, the words all a jumble when all I can think is it's from his mother.

"Baz, I can't - what's it say?"

[sidestepdestiny]

Gently, I take the letter back from his hand. There are a few papers in the envelope, legal documents. But the letter is from her. It's in her writing, even, and it's strange how immediately I recognized it.

"She's left me her...money," I say slowly, working to get the words out, because these are the easiest to say without breaking and spending Christmas morning bawling. "And..."

I swallow hard and shake my head. I can't read the letter aloud. "She loves me."

[worst_greatest_one]

"Of course she loves you," I exhale, only just remembering to push the letter aside so I don't crush it when I go to hug him. "Of course she did, she's your mum. She came back from the dead for you," I tell him and brush a kiss to his forehead, just where she'd kissed me.

"Babe," I say, squeezing him a little. He looks so wrecked, I only want to hold him together. "But I don't understand. How has this just come?"

[sidestepdestiny]

I set the letter and envelope aside. I don't even know where, I just know that I'm going to crumple it beyond recognition in my shaking hands. Instead I use them to hold tight to Simon, everything I'd been holding inside snapping the moment he presses a kiss to my forehead. When his arms come around me I tuck my face against his neck so he can't see, squeezing my burning eyes closed.

"I don't know. It was in the mailer with our bills." It's not like it could have been delivered right to our indoor box, all our mail collects downstairs in the slots with everyone elses.

"I can hardly remember her, Simon, and yet..." I suck in a breath and minutely shake my head. There's no explaining it. It's just taken me by surprise, hit me all at once.

[worst_greatest_one]

I stroke my hand down his back when I feel him begin to tremble. I know he doesn't want to cry in front of me, which is mad. I've cried in front of him more times than I can remember, and anyway, I love him. He can do anything he likes.

"What, you love her?" I ask him. "Of course you do. You can't really ever forget your mum." It sounds foolish when I say it aloud - after all, I don't remember my own mum, but this is Natasha Grimm-Pitch. She's not someone anyone forgets, least of all Baz. "I'm sorry it hurts, love."

[sidestepdestiny]

I lift my head, wiping absently at the dampness under my eyes with one hand, and nod. He's right, I've always carried her with me. Being the son of Natasha Grimm-Pitch is something that's defined me throughout my life, so much that in part she's become more legend than mother in my own head. But right now all I can think of her as is the woman who wanted me, who took care of me.

"Sometimes I just don't understand this place," I say, and smile weakly. "It must have come from home, somehow. Like Alec's ring and Eric's stove."

[worst_greatest_one]

'So fucked,' I breathe, 'But at least it's something good, yeah? A letter from your mum must rank among the kinder things this place has done.'

He pulls back to wipe at his cheeks, and I chase his fingertips with my lips and kiss him soundly. 'It's too bad your actual inheritance didn't come as well,' I joke. 'We could've gotten a pony or something.'

[sidestepdestiny]

Simon kisses me, and I come out of it with a warmer smile. "Definitely kind," I tell him, cupping the side of his neck. Back home I had things of my mothers to remind me of her, but here I had nothing. Not a book, not her ring, nothing. Now, I have a letter she wrote to me herself.

I pick the envelope back up and chuckle. "A pony? Not much you can do with one of those. Except maybe drink it," I say off hand. The will is certainly official, it has legal documents and everything, but it can't possibly have any bearing in Darrow.

Except that it's sent from Darrow's bank.

I slip the forms out and look them over. I'd ignored them for the letter before Simon found me, but now that I read them I realize...they aren't for home. I look up at Simon in disbelief.

"It says it's mine. Here, in this bank."

[worst_greatest_one]

I'm relieved to see Baz smiling, and I stroke another hand down his back, but all too soon he looks pale again. "It can't be," I say, but I take the pages from his limp fingers and look them over. They're in the Darrow City Bank's letterhead, which is the same place our accounts were under when we arrived here. I frown.

"How much is it?" I wonder aloud. "Check your balance on your mobile."

[sidestepdestiny]

I saw the amount on the paper, but it's hard to believe that it's real. He's right, and I reach for my mobile, but it's not on me. "Hang...hang on," I tell him, and return to the kitchen where our breakfast has been abandoned. But I hardly recognize it as I search instead for my phone, picking it up off the counter and logging onto the bank's website.

And there it is. A statement, a balance. I look up at Simon, finding he's joined me in the kitchen, and show it to him. "It's...twelve million pounds. Crowley. Twelve million in-- Darrow's currency. It's the Pitch family savings."

[worst_greatest_one]

I can't really understand what he's saying. Baz points his screen at me, but it's like the letter. I can see it, and I can hear him, but none of it actually makes sense.

Twelve million isn't a proper number. The most I've ever had at any one time is a few dozen pounds, and that's only because Agatha's family felt bad that my school handmedowns were so grotty. Twelve million is - it isn't real.

"What?" I ask, feeling rather stupid. I'm aware of the sheet around myself all at once, and snakes, I must look so foolish. Baz has twelve million pounds, and I don't even have shoes on.

[sidestepdestiny]

It's strange, because I'd grown up in wealth. I knew how much the Grimm-Pitch family had, and that I should inherit it one day. But I hadn't expected to receive it so soon, surely it would be for when I was older. Snakes, I hadn't expected to see it here. So while I'm not as dumbstruck as Simon, I still feel as though it's for another Tyrannus Basilton, not me.

But there it is, in my bank account.

"Twelve million," I repeat, feeling a bit stupid myself. I smile slowly, uncertain. "I guess...you can get a pony."

[worst_greatest_one]

"I - " I start. I don't actually know the first thing about ponies. Also, I feel a bit weird, but the couch isn't far, and I walk just long enough to sink down on it.

Sitting still doesn't seem to have any effect on the spinning room. "Baz, you're really rich."

[sidestepdestiny]

Simon looks a bit peakish, like he might faint. I follow him and sit down beside him on the couch, giving his leg a squeeze and tilting my face to try and get him to look at me.

"You've always known that," I insist, though I think I know what he actually means. The money has never been solely mine. I've never made any decisions about it, I've never been in charge.

He was never a part of it.

"We're rich," I say, correcting him, and laugh from the sheer madness of it. "We are."

[worst_greatest_one]

It's easier when Baz sits in front of me. I can focus on his face, if nothing else, but it still doesn't make sense. He's rich. I'm not. I can't be, it's too absurd. What would a person like me even do with money?

"It's not as if we're married," I say with a small smile, "But what will you do with it all? Where does one even start?"

[sidestepdestiny]

"Well--" I start to say, but stop, because while I haven't given actual marriage much thought, I realize that the moment Simon mentioned it I was assuming we would someday. But am I only assuming something like that because it's what I want? Either way, maybe it's not the best time to bring it up, there's so much already to wrap my head around. "I don't know. I think...we should have our breakfast and figure things out once we let it sit awhile."

"You could get some shorts on while I spell the food warm," I say with a teasing smile.

[worst_greatest_one]

"Right," I say, and even though he's smiling I feel foolish all over again. I pull the sheets tighter and stand, staring for a moment before I make myself go to the bedroom.

I tug open my drawer and stare down at my clothes. None of them are like anything a person with twelve million pounds would wear. There's even a hole in the top sweater, one I've never noticed before. It's probably been there for ages and I didn't know, because I'm ridiculous.

Huffing out a sigh, I put on the first sweater that seems whole and throw on some jeans, finally heading back out to the kitchen, but for once I'm not terribly hungry.

"It smells good," I say anyway.

[sidestepdestiny]

I put the envelope and its contents on the coffee table, unsure what else to do with it at the moment. I can't just keep staring, it's not going to make it feel any more real to me. So I go to the kitchen, because this is something I can do. I gather the food I've made and bring it to the table, using a spell to warm it back up, and smile at Simon when he comes back into the room.

"Simon? Why do you look like that?" I ask, my smile faltering.

[worst_greatest_one]

"Like what?" I look down at my sweater expecting to see a hole I've missed, but there's nothing, not even after I've patted all over it. A stain, then, one that only wealthy people can see, like dogs and whistles.

"My clothes are all rotten," I say and give up. "Is there coffee?"

[sidestepdestiny]

I make a face, frowning. "Not your clothes," I tell him, waving a dismissive hand. I pause, trying to read his expression, wondering if it's just something I imagined. My voice goes gentle and I move around the table to join him. "Your face. You look unhappy."

[worst_greatest_one]

"No, no," I say quickly, "I'm not." Baz is right in front of me, and I smile at him. Of course this is a good thing, and it's from his mum - I don't know why I feel the way I do.

Like I'm not right for it. Like I'm not right for anyone like Baz. "I just feel a bit sick," I say, which is true enough. "Don't let it spoil things."

[sidestepdestiny]

"Simon..." I touch his cheek, his forehead, but to be honest he always feels warm. I don't know if it's because of his magic, or because I'm always cold, or maybe a combination of both, but at the moment I can't tell if he's got a fever. Either way, he shouldn't be out of bed. My inheritance, Christmas, it can wait. I move closer, touching the small of his back. "Come back to bed. I can bring you some breakfast if you think your stomach can handle it, if not, maybe some broth?"

[worst_greatest_one]

"Breakfast is fine," I say, feeling rather foolish when he checks me for fever. Still, bed sounds better than the real world just now, and I turn and pull my sweater right back off again, crawling across the sheets to burrow into them. With any luck, I can convince Baz to lie around watching films with me all day.

[sidestepdestiny]

"I'll go make you a plate," I tell him as he crawls back into bed, then I return to the kitchen to gather up the food. This isn't the first time we've had breakfast in bed, though usually under much nicer circumstances, but it does mean I have a tray for this. Once I have everything I set the tray on the bed, putting a glass of orange juice on the bedside table for him, then get into bed with the tray between us.

"Here, let me..." I reach over and take my wand, casting a quick and easy Get well!. "Is that a little better?"

[worst_greatest_one]

I ought to have expected this, and after the charm washes over me, I swallow and nod. I do feel less nauseous, but the odd pressure in my chest hasn't gone away.

I still don't feel terribly hungry, but if I don't eat he'll know something's wrong, so I pull the plate to me and start to push the food into my mouth. "What would you have done with it?" I ask around the sausages. "At home?"

[sidestepdestiny]

"With the money?" I ask, and mull it over in my head. I don't know what to do with it here, so I can't imagine what I'd do with it back home. I think about the plans I had, but they'd always been vague because I never truly believed there was a future for me between my vampirism and having to fight Simon.

"Use it toward University, I suppose," I say, my fangs popping as I scoop up some eggs to eat. Except I know my father would have taken care of all that. "Get a flat instead of staying on campus. Invest it."

[worst_greatest_one]

"Invest it," I repeat. It sounds sensible, and right, and absolutely what Baz would do. "I'd..." I start, staring into the distance. "I'd probably buy food."

My shoulders slump a little as I continue to chew. Even I can hear that that sounds foolish, and I try to think of more. "Invest it, too, I suppose, if someone told me how. And see what I could do about the carehomes." Swallowing, I pick up another sausage. "I've never been in one that's not rubbish."

[sidestepdestiny]

I can't help smiling to myself, because that much money would buy a lot of food. But Simon looks deflated a moment after he says it, and I don't know why. He's acting strangely, and I'm beginning to think it isn't from a cold at all.

"Is that what you'd like to do?" I ask, running a hand up his back, stroking it lightly. The carehome seemed alright to me when I'd visit Saoirse there, but I can't honestly say if it was a good place to live or not. I never spent a whole ton of time there, and I have nothing to compare it to. "Obviously we can't do anything about England's carehomes, but we could donate to Darrow's."

[worst_greatest_one]

The offer makes my eyes sting, of all things, but I lift my head and smile at Baz. "Yeah?" I say. "I'd like that. Or build one, a good one, that people like me have a say in. Nurses and teachers always think they know, but if you haven't lived in a carehome, you don't understand what it's like."

I bite my lip. "Would there be enough money for that?"

[sidestepdestiny]

I run my fingers over the short, shaved hair, to Simon's curls, wanting to tuck him right in my lap, but the tray of food still sits between us. I've never known anyone so tender-hearted and kind.

"I don't see why not." Though I don't know for sure, but it has to be enough for something decent. I've no idea the costs in opening a business, or a charity, or whatever this would count as. But certainly there's enough to start even a small one. "We'll have to talk to the bank, and the government. Or, we could just buy a very big house and bring all the children there to live," I say, and laugh.

[worst_greatest_one]

"They have those," I say, sitting forward. "Not whole giant houses just for children, but carehomes attached to estates. I used to long to be sent to one, before Watford. They had everything there - decent meals, proper beds, horses to ride, all that."

And it's not as if I know anything about riding horses, but still - I've been jealous all my life.

[sidestepdestiny]

It had been a joke. Something from that movie, the one with the little ginger and the song about the sun coming out. But a carehome attached to a house - our house? A beautiful home like the one I grew up in. I've come to love our shared flat, but I can't say I don't miss the privacy of living in a house, to live somewhere like that with Simon...

"If that's what you want, love, that's what we'll do," I tell him, wiping a bit of gravy from the corner of his mouth with a smile. "Maybe it can be affiliated with that school, the one for magickal students."

[worst_greatest_one]

I think he means to kiss me, but I'm so happy that when I see he's only pushing gravy away from my mouth, I'm not embarrassed at all. "Really?" I ask, my heart racing, but he must be rubbing off on me, for my next thought is, "I suppose it will take a while. First we have to get a house, then see about how one even runs an orphanage, and the legal bits will all take time."

[sidestepdestiny]

"We might even have to have it built," I add, glad he's at least prepared that it can't happen instantaneously. I have a feeling if I let myself really think about all this right now, the sheer amount of responsibility might send me into an overwhelmed spiral. But at the same time I can't help catching onto Simon's enthusiasm, and it might be nice to have something to work at here other than a better position at Semele's. "Especially if it's to include stables."

[worst_greatest_one]

"We can have one built?" I ask, astonished. So many homes in England were made after the war - they all look the same, and we don't think twice about it, and then the old homes have been there for centuries. Somehow it never occurred to me that if we don't find what we like, we can just make a new one. Money is as good as magic ever has been.

"I don't actually know how to ride," I add. "Music courses, perhaps. You could play your violin with them."

[sidestepdestiny]

"At least the addition. Darrow isn't so big, we won't have as many choices. I can't imagine it will be easy to find the sort of estate we're looking for," I say. I hope we won't have to build the house as well, the idea of leaving this flat and having my own place with Simon is sounding more appealing by the second. I can always hear our neighbors here, I'm tired of the shared laundry, and I can't help it - I miss a little luxury in my life, and I want to share it with Simon.

"You know they have stables here, you could go ride any time," I add with a smile. I've seen them, the stables. The horses have tempted me a few times, they'd make such a good meal.

[worst_greatest_one]

The way he says it makes it sound so possible, and I grin back. "Probably shouldn't," I admit. "The last thing I need to spook with my magic is the horse I'm riding."

I reach for the juice on the nightstand and drain it, not realizing until I've finished it that I feel better. "I think I'm a bit off horses, anyway," I add, "After the unicorns."

[sidestepdestiny]

Simon seems to have cured himself with his good mood, and I'm glad for it. It wouldn't be fair to be sick on Christmas, and now we can have Steven over as planned. I'd hate to think of him stuck at the carehome on Christmas, speaking of them.

"At least these don't have horns," I say with a soft laugh. "You could always play football with them." Crowley knows I'm rubbish at it anymore, and I know how much Simon always liked to play. Even if he couldn't make the team.